What The Heart Desires
by MyTwiDreams
Summary: I know my wife. Deep inside her she's set her heart on this baby-project as she calls it secretly, and I wish so very hard that it wouldn't be so risky to give her what she desires the most.../ This is part of the madness that is WTHN/ Bellice/AH/


[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] This little piece of smut & fluff is dedicated to **SOFisticated1** because she shares my love for **WTHN** and knows how to trigger the evil little plot bunnies in my head…

****What The Heart Desires****

If you truly love someone that means a lot, maybe even more than you ever expected it to mean. Maybe even more than you thought yourself capable of. Loving Ali means everything to me, just everything.

I sip on the cup of coffee between my hands, realizing that I have put way too much sugar into it but that probably proves how tensed my nerves are.

I need to make up my mind and that's a difficult thing for me to do in this situation. The thing is that I know what I want the most—Ali's well-being. But I also know what it is she wants the most—a baby.

We've discussed the topic so often in the last ten years and although there may have been times when her desperate wish for a child of her own hasn't been as persistent as it is right now but it has always been there. And I know my wife. Deep inside her she's set her heart on this baby-project as she calls it secretly, and I wish so very hard that it wouldn't be so risky to give her what she desires the most.

"Morning, beautiful." She greets me when she enters the kitchen. Her hair is still damp from the shower and he caramel eyes are sparkling full of excitement. I pull her close to me and run my fingers down her back until their tips reach the roundness of her backside.

"Morning, my darling, are the kids already gone?"

"Hmm, yes they are. Lilly is driving Zoe to school because our little sleepyhead missed the bus again."

"We need to buy her a better alarm clock."

"That's useless." I state, cupping her face between my hands to caress her lip with my thumb. Then I pull her closer and plant a soft kiss on her mouth. My traitorous body reacts instantly when the tip of her tongue touches against mine as she gasps for air. I fumble with the belt around her bathrobe letting it fall down on the ground.

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Trying to seduce someone is something for beginners. I _am_ seducing you because I know what it does to you when I touch you here…,"

My left hand moves down her flat stomach while my right one starts massaging her breasts in small circles. Her rosy nipples pebble against my palm and when I start squeezing and rolling them gently between my fingers her breathing turns into raspy moans. I dip my fingers into the moist warmth between her thighs, feeling how she's already wet and ready there for my touch. I tease the sensitive pearl of her clit for a few moments before I slip first two, then a third finger into the velvety tightness of her entrance. She groans against my neck and bites down into the pale skin there, marking me as hers while her inner walls convulse around my fingers. And I am hers, irrevocably…

XXXX

"You are late." Benjamin stats reproachfully when I show up at work half an hour later with my hickey covered securely underneath a thin black silk scarf.

"I'm just late because it took forever to convince our daughter to get up this morning. Have you already stored the boxes that arrived today?"

"I don't understand the new system Leah and you are using now. It's impossible to find anything."

"It's in alphabetical order. If you look for something with the letter B like…Blowjobs for example…you have to look for it in this row here with the B on it. That's quite easy to understand, if you ask me."

He grins and takes a pile of books out of the box that is standing next to him. A low chuckle lefts his throat when he starts sorting them alphabetically.

"The word Blowjob sounds so funny when you say it, Bella."

"It's part of my job to use words like Blowjob. Not a big deal for me anymore."

He clears his throat and takes a deep breath throw his mouth before he speaks up again.

"We need to talk about this baby-thing. My sister is so stubborn about it and I feel like you are getting weak because she's so good at lulling you in."

I sigh and sit down on the ground, leaning back against the wooden book shelf behind me. He kneels down next to me and his face looks almost tortured now.

"She wants to have this baby so much and I feel selfish for denying her something that she wants so very much."

"You are trying to protect her and it is necessary to do that. Ali is so much like our mother. She thinks with her heart and not with her head when it comes to certain things. My father still feels guilty because he didn't manage to talk Mom out of trying for another child back then."

His voice is trembling when he mentions his dead mother and this is exactly the reason why I don't want Ali to get pregnant. If her heart fails or her kidney's stop working properly, what am I going to do then? I can't live without her. She's my whole world and without her I'm like an empty, soulless shell.

XXXX

"Do you want me to explain the procedure to you again, Bella?" Seth asks me while I try desperately to keep my face a calm mask. He's explained everything over and over again but I'm still not convinced this is a good idea. It is still way too risky in my eyes but Ali who is sitting next to me is so thrilled about the possibility to change her medication to another one that she has trouble sitting still at all. The test row Seth has assisted in Boston went well, but that's just a test and here we are talking about my wife and not some random test patients.

Seth pager starts beeping and when he's out of the room I stand up from my chair and start walking around the office like an animal in a cage. I can't agree to this, it's too dangerous and I can't say no to it because it's what Ali wants. She wants it so much…

"Bella, have you made up your mind?"

"No,"

"But we need to decide whether we are going to try this or not. It's not like we have unlimited time for it."

"I know." I whisper, kneeling down next to the plastic chair she's sitting on. My hands are trembling when I take hers between them and start rubbing lazy circles up and down her dainty wrist.

"I want this baby so much."

"I know."

"But you are still scared, aren't you?"

I nod my head and swallow hard because I can already feel the tears burning in my eyes. The possible risk of losing her is unbearable for me and the pain that comes with the fear is so strong that I feel like I can't breathe for several moments.

"I don't want you to be afraid." she mumbles, putting my hand against her warm, soft lips to plant several kisses all over my knuckles.

"I know."

"Are you going to say anything else apart from, I know?"

I sniff and wipe away a single tear from the corner of my eye before it can fall down my cheekbone.

"I want you to have this baby because it's what you want but I also want you to not have this baby because I'm scared about the risks."

"I will be just fine. You need to have a little faith in the possibilities of modern medicine. They can transplant faces and stuff, so it should be possible to get me through this pregnancy without severe damages."

"I love you." I whisper, resting my head in her lap while she starts playing with my hair and massaging my temples with her fingertips.

"I love you too and I can't do this without you. I need you. I need you so very much."

I kiss her mouth tenderly, then the tip of her nose and every inch of her dear face while I try to fight the fears inside me as much as I can. She's not going to give up on this and because I can't give up on her, I eventually manage to form the words she needs me to say to her.

"Let's have this baby. I bet it will as pretty as you are."

XXXX

Her mouth curves into a smile when I enter the bedroom, realizing that she has decorated every surface with rose-petals and vanilla scented candles. I sit down next to her on the bed and run my fingers over the white lace fabric of her corsage. The material is so thin that I can see her nipples though it. She's so breathtakingly beautiful and she's all mine. I pull her on top of me and she starts whimpering when I suck first one, then the other of her hardening tips between my lips.

"This is a pretty little nothing you are wearing there." I mumble, teasing the shell of her ear with the tip of my tongue.

My fingers caress the insides of her slim thighs before I eventually circle my thumb over the moist covered outer lips of her pussy. I want to taste her and so I turn her around so that she's on her knees. I inhale the intoxicating scent of her arousal while my tongue swirls up and down between her slick folds. She's so delicious and my right hand moves between my own legs to rub my fingers over the pulsing pearl of my clit.

I want to feel her coming all over my tongue and so I start thrusting it back and forth into her entrance until the muscles around me start tightening. Her warm essence pours down my throat while my fingers circle lazily over my dripping wet sex. My legs start to tremble and I feel that I'm close, so close…

"I want to take you now. Can I take you with the harness?" she moans against my neck, making my skin break out in goose bumps.

Oh dear God, yes. I love when she uses the strap-on on me and I search for the little box under the bed, pulling the purple colored dildo with the adjusted belt out of it. When I'm done helping Ali to adjust it around her hips I lean forward and suckle the tip of the toy between my lips.

"Fuck, it looks so hot when you do that. I love watching you sucking on the dildo before I…oh fuck, Bella."

With that she pushes me back against the pillows and parts my legs. For a few moments she moves the head of the dildo up and down between my inner lips before she finally thrusts in all the way in one swift movement.

Her mouth on mine stiffens my moans while she rocks her hips back and forth until I see stars in front of my inner eyes. I wrap my legs around her and the toy slips even deeper inside me. My breasts press deliciously against hers and a heartbeat later I feel the familiar tightening deep down in my belly. The climax is building and building until I clench around the toy inside of me and Alice stills on top of me, resting her sweat-covered forehead against my neck.

"I love you. I love you so very much."

The knock on the door makes me jump from the bed and I quickly wrap a towel around my body before I open the door.

"You know what to do or do you need help with it?" Seth asks me when he hands me the plastic cup with the blue lid on it.

I quickly shake my head and take a deep breath before I speak up again.

"Promise me that she'll be okay. Will you?"

"I promise you to take care of her. Is that enough?"

His lips curl up into a smile before he walks down the stairs and I remain standing in the doorframe for a minute, my legs somehow seeming unable to go back into the room behind me.

"Bella?"

Slowly, I walk towards the bed and sit down on its edge, taking Ali's hand in mine.

"Lay back and try to relax." I instruct while I pull the syringe out of the nightstand.

Ali smiles and closes her eyes. Her face looks so incredibly peaceful and happy right now. She is and always will be the love of my life. How can I deny her what she desires the most?

XXXX

She doesn't sleep well that night and I wonder if that's part of the new medication Seth is giving her. I pull her against my chest and hum a lullaby into her ear while she continues tossing around.

"Do you think it worked?"

"It's a bit too soon to tell that. We have to wait and be patient. You should try to sleep a bit now. Your body needs to rest."

"I'm way too excited to sleep." She mumbles switching on the lights. Then she sits up and starts working on one of her sketches while I hug her tightly from behind and nuzzle my face against her neck.

"Working in the middle of the night is not what I consider resting."

"I need to get this done. Well, actually I need to get a lot of stuff done before the baby is born."

"Have you talked with the little witch about cutting down your hours?"

She nods her head and starts nibbling on the end of the pen before she continues drawing.

"Jane is not exactly pleased about it."

"I could care less whether something pleases her or not. You can't work as much as you are working now. I won't allow it. All the stress is like poison for your heart. Look, you need to tell Jane that she's rather going to allow you to work less or she can start looking for a new designer."

"Kay, I'll talk to her again…tomorrow."

"Mommy? Did I sleep in again?" Zoe asks me tiredly, sticking her head into the bedroom door.

"No, you didn't. Go back to sleep, honey. It's still the middle of the night."

"But why are you up?"

She cuddles against Ali's side and pulls the blankets over her shoulder.

"Can I stay?"

"If you want to, honey, but you have to promise me to sleep now. We can't spend so much time every morning trying to wake you up."

"I hate school anyway and I don't want to go there anymore."

I take the sketch from Ali and place it carefully underneath the bed, before I turn out the lights again. I run my fingers through the tangles in Zoe's hair and sigh deeply. I don't understand what that child does to her hair that it's always so terribly messy.

"Let me guess," Ali starts, while she starts braiding our daughter's long curls in quick movements. "You have been fighting with Cara again."

"How do you know?"

"You were supposed to sleep at her house tonight but then you called your sister to pick you up again."

"I'm never going to speak to Cara again. She's a stupid best friend and a traitor."

"I'm sure you'll forgive her. What did she do that made you angry?"

"She broke her promise. We promised that we would hate the twins forever and now she's…now she's…," her voice turns into a toneless humming and a few heartbeats later she starts snoring in Ali's arms. That's another one of our daughter's talents. She can practically fall asleep everywhere within seconds.

I cuddle against Ali from behind and place my hand on the flat skin of her abdomen, wondering how it is going to feel like when she's all round and swollen there. The thought puts a smile on my face and for a moment the fear is completely gone, just gone, only to return full force a few seconds later. This is going to be difficult, I know, and it hasn't even started yet…

**XOXXOXXOXXO**

Leave me some review love if you feel like it & Merry Christmas to all of you, my lovely readers.


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